Shadows of light part 2
Yet another incident comes to my mind when I think of Bheem. The final journey. The Mahaprasthanika Parva. A figment of imagination to the Parva
“I know time has come for all of us to leave. Let’s start our journey together, one after another. Follow me my brothers and O princess of Panchala” said Yudhishtir, preparing for their final journey to heaven abode.
“In this journey, no one shall turn back when someone falls” , reiterated Yudhistra.
Bhima glanced at Draupadi. She was as non-chalant as ever. Did she love him as much as he loved her? He wanted to ask Draupadi so many questions. Images of his conversations with Draupadi, during the Ashwamedha Yagna and Kichaka vadha were flashing in his mind.
Draupadi never showed her love for him. Did she love him at all? He did not dare to ask her. For he never wanted to be the reason behind those tear drops that kissed her cheeks.
They started walking. Draupadi was walking behind all of them. He kept turning to look at her. He wanted to ask her. “What if she says no? I don’t want to put her through this. Whatever it is, she is my wife and I love her. ”, thought Bheem.
A crackling sound. She had fallen. He turned, inspite of his brother’s warning. She was falling. He felt as though there was a string tied from her heart to his, like the one Mr.Rochester describes in Jane Eyre and it was tearing his heart away. He wanted to go with her, to stop the string from breaking.
After hours of silence, he then asked the most dreaded question. “Why did she fall?” “She liked Arjun, more than all of us” whispered Yudhishtir.
Bheema’s heart sank for a minute. He then regained his senses. “She is my wife. I have no right to suspect her devotion to me. I just wanted to know how much she loved me and whether she love me as much as I love her. But never did I want to know who she loved more. She loved me and that is enough for a lifetime. Just because I love her the most, I don’t have a right to expect the same from her. Afterall, she has a heart of her own and she has her own feelings. Its just that I wish I knew how much she loved me”
The falling Draupadi, then whispered to herself “I wish I could tell you now. Or rather, I wish I had told you earlier Bheem. I love you the most, this minute”.
For me, this whole episode reminds me of the Bheems out there. Everyone has had relationships in the past, feelings for someone special. It is often a justified fact that first love always holds a special place in one's life. But in the process, the fact that someone is hurt by it, often goes unrecognized. True that the partner understands. But is it so dear that it deserves to hurt someone ?
I had also expressed this emotion of my protagonist Dhwani, in one of my earlier blog articles wherein she couldn’t contain her feelings for Ved, when she was already married so Sujay. True that Sujay understands her feelings for Ved. But at what cost is she still holding a place for Ved? One needs to answer this. If the person truly deserves a place, then yes. But are we missing out on something here ?
Bheem had several wives apart from Draupadi. Still, to her he was true. When he was in that relationship, he was true to it. Till the very end. Draupadi too, liked Bheem. But she was overwhelmed with her feelings for Karan according to Divakaruni and Arjun according to Yudhishtir.
But in the end she wished she had recognized Bheem’s feelings for her. She wished she had expressed her love for Bheem. It was too late. She realised it late. But Bheem never regretted loving her the most. True love is not about expecting something from her but giving her whatever he can, unconditionally.
Perhaps, somewhere there, he still longs for leading a happy life with her. With the love in his heart, the love so pure and untainted. The love so unconditional.Perhaps she too liked him but never knew how to express it. True love never goes unrecognized after all !
Love that is right in front of us, waiting to be embraced by us, often goes unnoticed. Make the most of now. Be it with your parents, your spouses or children. Express it and embrace it. Celebrate love in the month of the Valentine !